To Walk on Eggshells Review
This is a priceless account of the agony, shock, love and stamina of a mother faced with a child who has been dealt the unkind hand of severe mental illness. Easy to read, clearly sincere and uncontrived it is altogether memorable. Her feelings are described with endearing honesty and simplicity, over the space of several years and through the various stages of her daughter's illness and recovery. Her early feelings of utter uselessness are so real and understandable, the only solace coming from basic mothering activities such as ironing her daughter's pyjamas on the eve of being admitted to a psychiatric unit.
One of the many remarkable features of this account is Jean's appreciation of the irreplaceable role of in-patient care, when sanctuary is needed, and the oft repeated affection for specialist staff. She bucks the fashionable trend of demanding a right to be involved in the detail of her daughter's hospital care, recognising the dangers of over involvement and seeing her daughter's relationship with her teams as her own business.
Her relationship with the ward cleaner is a great comfort and is a useful reminder of the totality of a service which is discounted by planners and managers.
Altogether this is a refreshingly sensible and emotionally riveting account from an intelligent lady who is blessed with the unusual combination of modesty, insight and the energetic desire to do something to ease the plight of those afflicted with mental illness.
Professor AVP Mackay, OBE, MA, BSc (Pharm), PhD, MB, ChB, FRCP (Ed), FRCPsych, Tpsych, Director of Mental Health Services, Lomond and Argyll (retired)
Your book Suzy was so heart rendering and made me look at my mental health issues in a more positive light. Last year I was referred to a psychiatric ward as I had come close to taking my life. I still have thoughts of doing this and also self harm but your book has helped me channel my thoughts more positively and also the damage I could do to others around if I was to go ahead and take my own life.
Hopefully when my husband has finished reading your book, Jean, he too will have a better understanding as to what he has dealt with for a long time now.
You both have definitely taught me a lot more about my depression than any doctor has done so in the past. Thank you again, you have brought the smile back to my face.
Lisa Tucker, Argyll and Bute
You cannot read a more dramatic opening than this to a personal account of the bipolar disorder. Suzy's descent into the disorder will be crushingly familiar to many MDF members: early signs in adolescence leading to a major breakdown at college and time in a mental ward. The descriptions of her downward slide to bipolar trauma are vivid and painful but this is not a negative read. Suzy, like her mother, is committed to combating the stigma of mental illness through her own story. Her style is upbeat, optimistic and - particularly when she describes the acceptance and comradeship she encountered from friends and fellow sufferers - moving.
The book by her mother is written in a similar spirit. Despite being by her own admission 'a psychiatric virgin' the no-nonsense commitment Jean makes to help her daughter recover from the devestating effects of the disorder is a model to all carers. The approach is not perscriptive or preachy and firmly rooted in common sense.
Not surprisingly, the two accounts have formed a centrepiece of the work of the Scottish Recovery Network, with whom both women are closely associated.
Dominic Brender,
MDF, The Bipolar Organisation.
The author has done a fantastic job by managing to condense her pain extremely well. I found her book imaginative, informative, useful, down to earth, but also very powerful and I recommend it wholeheartedly.
Georgie Wakefield, carer, Mental Health Today.
Review by Tony O'Brien, RN, MPhil on Jul 18th 2006
Volume: 10, Number: 29 To Walk on Eggshells is a companion volume to The Naked Bird Watcher, Suzy Johnston's autobiographical account of mental illness. Written by Suzy's mother Jean Johnston, To Walk on Eggshells tells Jean's story of her daughter's mental illness, and the family's struggle to cope with its devastating effects. It is a deeply personal story, written as a direct first person narrative. I read To Walk on Eggshells without the benefit of having read its predecessor, but there would clearly be benefits to reading the two volumes together.
The book is written in the form of a personal memoir, and seems crafted to appeal to parents of young people with mental illness, or to others who find themselves dealing with mental illness in the family. The author describes the onset of changes in behavior, initially unrecognized as mental illness, but which profoundly influenced the lives of both mother and daughter. Although short, at a mere 75 pages, the book ranges over a variety of issues that families affected by mental illness will recognize. Johnston has a lay audience in mind and does not wish them to become 'bogged down in heavy and painful reading'. She succeeds in the first objective. However, although Jean does not overstate the difficulties faced by a mother whose daughter's life is disintegrating, the pain is palpable. The memoir is both moving and absorbing. It is recommended reading for the parents of people with mental illness who want to know how it was for someone else in the same situation.
After some initial background chapter three begins: 'I knew something was wrong with our daughter'. This stark statement sets the tone for the following chapters, and for Jean's strongly subjective account of her experience. Readers are taken on a roller coaster tour of Jean's life as a mother coping with mental illness in a loved daughter: bewilderment at the unusual and disconcerting behaviors, the uncertainties of negotiating appropriate care, self-blame, feelings of 'uselessness' and especially the theme that gives the book its title, 'walking on eggshells'; in a nutshell, the tiptoeing around issues that parents dare not confront for fear of 'making things worse'. The language is refreshingly direct: 'God it is so tiring. You are literally living your life on a knife edge.'; 'The truth is that I think mental illness can be total shit.' This is no distant and detached account.
Johnston is an avowed non-expert ('I am no authority'), but one whose experience equips her to provide practical advice to parents and families: 'we would be wise to watch out for [signs of self harm]'. In sharing her experience as frankly as she does, Jean achieves something likely to elude a more comprehensive description.
Johnston is sympathetic to the work of mental health professionals, and she is optimistic about measures undertaken by the Scottish Government to address mental health concerns. There is none of the generalized lambasting of 'community care' which can make for tedious reading at times. But just as Johnston acknowledges the care provided by professionals, she is also forthright in noting that families do not always receive the services they need. She encourages carers to advocate for their needs and demand appropriate services.
Some readers might wish for more specific information. What was Suzy's diagnosis? What is the medication Jean thinks she may have to take for life? What are some of the strategies that have assisted Suzy's recovery? To Walk on Eggshells is a book with a modest but important objective: to engage its audience. It is the sort of book that will enable readers to identify with Jean, and to seek further for the support and information they need. One shortcoming is that the book does not provide contact details of where families or carers can access help. In chapter eight Johnston refers to some 'excellent service-user led [internet] sites' but, disappointingly, the addresses are not given. I can imagine that family members reading this book would like to see a list of support agencies or services for those with mental illness. However the book does contain the web address of the publisher, which in turn provides links to web resources.
To Walk on Eggshells is a warm and absorbing first person account that is a valuable resource for family members looking for someone who speaks to their experience; a fellow traveler on an anxious and uncertain road.
© 2006 Tony O'Brien
Tony O'Brien RN, MPhil, New Zealand
I have recently, in fact less than a fortnight ago bought a copy of "The Naked Bird Watcher" and have subsequently bought a copy of "To Walk On Eggshells".
The books are wonderful. I have no doubt that you have had plenty of praise heaped upon you; but I felt the need to add another stone to the Cairn (sorry, had to make the joke as well)
"The Naked Bird Watcher" was concise and eloquent; it covered all the bases and managed to do so without sensationalising the condition. The other more difficult thing to describe is the level of normalcy you bring to the disorder and mental health in general.
"To Walk On Eggshells" was equally insightful and it was fascinating to see the situation from the other perspective.
I received a diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder earlier this year, it took me more than a few weeks to get around to telling my family and it is still a tentative area, however unlike any of the other pieces of literature or books I have read on the subject I have passed onto these two books for them to read.
I can't really find the words to say (type) but in essence thank you for the work you do and the books you have written, they are a huge help.
Thank you
Scott Gladstone 18th June 2007
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