Naked Bird Watcher Reviews
 Writer and broadcaster, Muriel Gray reviews
The Naked Bird Watcher
by Suzy Johnston
"One of the many devastating weapons that depression wields against its victims is a soul-scouring paralysis that renders them unable to take action of any kind at all. Imagine then the bravery of manic-depressive Suzy Johnston to not only find the spirit to analyse and confront the illness that debilitated her youth, but also to conjure up sufficient energy to commit those experiences to print.
The Naked Bird Watcher is a forthright and honest account of the origins of Suzy's depression and how it blighted an otherwise happy and high-achieving school and university life. The fascinating but horrifying details explained to the lay person who has never had to travel such a dark road include the reactions of Suzy's contemporaries, her friends' inability to differentiate self isolation from haughty exclusion, and in one truly awful account, a tutor failing so spectacularly to understand her student's profound illness that it cost Suzy a possible career in teaching.
In another chilling revelation the author also explains the desire for self-harm in such a clear and direct way that such madness seems to make perfect sense. Cutting herself made Suzy feel something, filling the void that depression had created where sensation of any kind, physical or emotional had all but been extinguished. As she put it, her idea of depression before becoming a sufferer was that she would be sad all the time. The reality of feeling nothing was far greater a torture.
Suzy is not a writer by profession and she has to be hugely congratulated for this first bold foray into writing. The book's true value is in the very fact it was written at all, although perhaps after having read that Suzy managed to graduate despite her illness we shouldn't be that surprised at the astonishing achievement of conceiving, writing and completing a book. If we needed an indication of just what a winner she really is then that surely provides it. Since Ms Johnston's primary goal was to help others gain an insight into the illness and combat stigma, and at the same time help those who might have felt alone and unique in their distress, for that very good reason alone the book is worth its weight in gold. "
Muriel Gray
Making mental illness aceptable
By almost any standards, Suzy Johnston had a comfortable life, Brought up in an apparently loving home in a middle-class town, educted at St Andrews - perhaps Scotland's most prestigious university, she played hockey for her country, taught American kids to play soccer and played guitar for with the Scottish band Alkahounds.
She was also beset with physical and mental health problems from 13 years of age which lead to a diagnosis of manic depressive disorder. And it is clear she is on a mission - a mission to make mental illness 'acceptable' Much of her life has been normal - she enjoyed a drink with friends, had a laugh, studied, went home for the holidays and all the other things that everybody else does. The other part of her life: the depression, self loathing, social phobia and self-harming behaviour is described with such authenticity that the reader cannot but empathise. However, these are the twin strengths of this book. For the 'lay-reader Ms Johnston makes it abundantly clear that mental illness happens to 'nice people' too - not just those we turn away from. It happens to ordinary people (and even the midly privileged) too. For those readers who are themselves experiencing some form of mental health problem she makes it equally clear that help is generally available and that with help there can be 'light at the end of the tunnel' Speaking from her own experience she describes in detail her fight against manic depression, her hospitalisation, and her recovery, making it clear along the way that her recovery has meant she has had to make a number of significant lifestyle changes in order to accommodate the condition with which she lives. As professionals or lay people we benefit from the giving of her testimony - For that reason I recommend it.
Mental Health Nursing Journal, Psychiatric lecturer/practioner, 12/18/2005
Celebvilles’ debauched tales of depression and pill popping are as much a contemporary fashion attaché as the latest Louis Vuitton accessory. The Elizabeth Wurtzel era is over and General Joe Public’s woeful tales of angst are demoted to the bottom of the pop culture pile. Suzy Johnston’s autobiography succeeds in redressing the balance. ‘The Naked Bird Watcher’ is a touchingly effective portrait of one woman’s journey through the purgatory of manic depression. The confessional first person narrative positively sidesteps the formulaic maxims inherent in the genre. And unlike her peers compositions (see Wurtzel’s ‘Prozac Nation’) Johnston doesn’t rely on the seductiveness of her environs to tell her story. Rather, she focuses simply on the strength and socio-political aspect of the story itself.
Refreshingly, her emphasis is on the hope, ‘the light’ that she aspires to rather than the self-destruction caused by her illness. A provocative read.
●●●○○ Anna Miller, The List
Review by Tony O'Brien, RN, MPhil
Volume: 10, Number: 34
''The sanity birds glided seamlessly through my dream, arcing high into the air on the updraft then swooping low over the churning sea....Then one bird fell. Screaming it dropped from the clouds, its body smashing into the hungry sea. Then another. And another....'' (p. 9).
This book deserves to be widely read by mental health professionals and others seeking an insider's view of mental illness. Suzy Johnston was diagnosed with manic depression while a student at St Andrews University (that's the one overlooking the Home of Golf). In The Naked Bird Watcher Johnston describes her experience with feelings of despair, suicidality, repetitive self injury and crippling self doubt. She describes several hospital admissions, and a long series of consultations with psychiatrists, general practitioners, mental health nurses and counselors. She also discusses family relationships, friendships and romances, sparing little in recounting what helped her recovery and what didn't. There are a number of people who will feel uncomfortable to say the least to read of how they have been perceived at various times, and others who might smile as Johnston recounts numerous anecdotes and vignettes of her life so far. The Naked Bird Watcher is not simply an autobiographical account of mental illness; it is the story of a life, including drinking binges, travel, and Johnston's performances in the rock band the Alkahounds. Episodes of mental illness are described as they were experienced: in student hostels, at home with her family, and in hospital. The book is written in plain language, with no attempt to craft an account in support of a particular stance about mental illness, or to interpret any of her experience in terms of a theory, medical or otherwise. This is the story of a life as lived.
In a previous review I discussed Walking on Eggshells, Johnston's mother's account of Suzy's mental illness. I can see now why mother and daughter have both published their stories: Jean has been the mainstay of Suzy's life, supporting her in times of crisis, listening to her declarations of despair, providing an anchor of security in a life that teetered towards an abyss. Other family members play supportive roles in Johnston's life, but it is Jean who features most strongly in this account.
Opening with a passage from a time in hospital, Johnston sets the scene for a story which for all its high points is never far away from another black episode. Johnston tells of her early life in Glasgow, her sporting prowess, adolescent friendships, incidents with her two brothers, and her at times rocky passage to university graduation. Most of the time she is a regular student; socializing, playing hockey and football, learning guitar, and developing a surreptitious smoking habit. She drinks a lot, and suffers a lot of hangovers, but rises to drink again. All that drinking can't have helped her low moods, but it is normalized in the context of university life. If Johnston sounds more than a little naïve when she reflects on the harm done by other recreational drugs, she is probably typical of her peers.
The book recalls numerous interactions with friends, flatmates, nurses and doctors, as well as many critical episodes in Johnston's illness and recovery. In one telling section she recounts her decision to inflict lacerations, first with a compass needle and later using razors. She describes cutting and the relief that accompanied it without self pity: ''The pain was a revelation. I could feel again. It was sharp, clear and alive, smashing its way through the thick wall of Perspex that I had built up around me''.
In the course of her many contacts with health professionals Johnston has more changes in medication than you can shake a stick at. She reports finding some of these interventions helpful, and medication is a current part of her self management program. But I did find myself wondering if all those antipsychotics, antidepressants and tranquilizers reflected as much the limited therapeutic options of her clinicians as they did Johnston's need for relief from distress. Johnston also reflects frankly on various health professionals, mostly in terms of their willingness to listen, and ability to show understanding of her experience. There are lessons in this book for those of us who offer help to people with mental distress and illness: while hospitalization and medication proved invaluable at times, there is no substitute for listening, the warmth of conversation, and in Johnston's case a sense of humor.
The Naked Bird Watcher is a plainly rendered personal account, free of agendas about models of ''mental illness'' or the inadequacies of the mental health system. Johnston does make some telling points about stigma and discrimination, the need for sensitive and supportive mental health care, and the difficulties encountered in adapting to persistent low moods and social anxiety. At the end of the book she describes depression as ''like walking down a road blindfolded and falling into potholes. You don't know how deep the potholes are or how long it will take to climb out''. But climb out she does. Recovery, as Patricia Deegan said, is a journey, and for Johnston it is clearly not over. Johnston reflects without artifice that she hopes her coping strategies will keep her at home and out of hospital. If publication of her book helps in this process Johnston has achieved twice; she has helped readers understand one woman's experience of building a life in the face of mental health crises, as well as helping her own recovery. With The Naked Bird Watcher Johnston establishes herself not only as the author of her book, but as the author of her life.
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I bought your book some time ago, but it has taken me some time to read it all. Partly, I found that I could not read your book non-stop because it was too painful to take in and to absorb. It’s a fantastic record, written so clearly and with such honesty that it does not make for easy reading, at least not for to me as I have been very involved with the Samaritans and was responsible for establishing the correspondence branch which tried to offer support through letters. And I think that the latter was to me so close to what you have been through. Being an old codger of the old school – would you expect anything from an old ‘headie’ your language was so right and so appropriate. It certainly gave colour to your story.
I found your story very moving, at times almost too moving and it was, I think, an extraordinary account of your journey through depression. At the same time it was also very encouraging that you were able to get help, not just with medication, but in the very personal support that you got from doctors, nurses and the Christie Ward. There is so much in the NHS that gets abuse, it is good to hear of something positive.
I do hope that you will continue with your writing and working with young people as well as on behalf of all those who suffer with depression. It is so important for everyone to understand that mental illness is no different from any other illness and deserves the same sympathy and understanding. It is also important that they understand that there is help available and that it can be treated and that the outcome is hopeful. Again thank you for what you have written: it was a very brave but a very important contribution to the understanding of a very serious condition.
David Arthur, former UK Chairman, The Samaritans
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Too often writers approach mental illness from the outside, this is one of the rare books which puts you in the shoes of the person experiencing mental distress. Suzy literally takes you along in the terrifying descent into the dark, murky world of mental illness in which she found herself, unaware and unprepared for what was happening to her. With vivid descriptions, you join her as she realizes ‘that something, somehow was horribly wrong’. You are there as she suffers the apathy ad dullness her life is becoming, too paralyzed to care. In what otherwise would be a typical collegiate experience: meeting new friends, partying late into the night, competing with the Hockey Club, learning guitar and joining a local band…..Suzy faced the added confusion of dealing with an insidious illness which was slowly turning her life inside out, yet elusively escaped being pinned down and understood.She writes of experiences with doctors unsure or unable to give a diagnosis and hospitalisation. You experience her initial fear of hospital admission yet you also experience the first steps on the road to her recovery. Overall, the care she received was excellent and really established the fundamental steps for her on-going recovery and provided her with the tools to cope and manage the symptoms of her condition. She learned to recognise the signs that she needs help and how to get it. This positive aspect of her account is one of the true strengths of the book. There is a model for success here which many can learn from, yet there is still valuable constructive suggestions which come from her own experience.
The book is an easy read and one you will not forget. It will give you a new degree of compassion, respect and understanding for the brave souls who deal with mental illness. Her honest and moving account of her struggles and progress serves as an inspiration to the rest of us and will undoubtedly help many who suffer from the devastating symptoms of mental illness as well as those who love and help them when they need it.
Suzy Johnston writes in an easy style with good humour and an incredible ability to both convey her innermost feelings in these experiences and an impartial view of what happened to her – it is that unique ability that sets her and her writing apart.
Doug Huskey NAMI, USA.
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Knowledge and understanding are essential in the destigmatization of people suffering from mental illness. The Naked Bird Watcher is a valuable contribution towards this goal. With admirable honesty Suzy Johnston brings the reader knowledge of a severe mental illness and its costs. At the same time she manages to pass on the seldom heard voice that is both sense and optimism.
I strongly recommend this book to patients, their relatives and not least to the professionals who work with mental illness.
Ida Hageman, Consultant Psychiatrist, research fellow, Copenhagan, Denmark.
I brought The Naked Bird Watcher with me while on holiday, not knowing whether this book would end as many of my holiday books do: unread.... It did not. You captured my interest from the very beginning, and kept my interest all through the book. You are a very good writer and giving your everyday life story like you do makes the illness so much closer and so much easier to identify with than much of the professional writings are able to.
I will recommend your book to my colleagues, and I'm sure that they, as I did, will get some very valuable knowledge from reading it. I also do believe that we will bring this knowledge into our work.
Gudrun Dieserud, PhD, Mental Health, Norway
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I am a BP person, so naturally reach for pretty much anything that is of the subject area. Suzy provides an excellent description of what it is like to suffer from mind and life crippling depression, without wallowing in OTT lurid 'woe is me' details. There is more than enough to paint the picture, to other sufferers and their folks. Nor does she describe florid periods of wonderful mania (It is awful and destroys jobs lives relationshps, and your bank balance!), where she got 5 degrees, a leading research job, a huge salary, speaking engagements, and when she fell back to earth, someone rescued her. Ring any bells? Instead, she gently decribes how the illness can mess up even the simple things, and showed great bravery and a good example of perseverance with help academically.
She seems to have accepted her illness, and treats it like a friend who must not be abused. She has learned to recognise it will always be there, but looks after it, in order that it doesn't become offended and let itself be known in a vociferous and unavoidable way.
The value of a caring family and friends is well documented, and there's a smiley anecdote on a regular basis to avoid becoming bogged down in wretchedness. She notably doesn't name any of her drugs,perhaps in order that anyone else will not be influenced by her experience, but be given the chance to be helped by the right people with the right meds.
She comes across as the kind of lady you'd love to have a coffee with, and count as a friend. Well done Suzy and good luck with your future.
Mr. S. P. Mudie "simonmudie" Amazon.co.uk, June 2009
Just wanted to drop a quick line to say thank you for writing your book! I've struggled with depression for many years and it was so inspiring to read about your fight with it. I get incredibly frustrated with some of my friends inability to recognise that it isn't just a "phase" that "a good night on the lash" will fix, it is an illness and consequently I shut them out....but your book has given me the confidence in myself to try and rebuild the bridges. I told the "appendicitis" analogy/comparison to one of my friends and then passed on a copy of the book and she rang me two days later, and tearfully apologised for being so "callous and stupid" for the last seven or eight years!
Thank you :) Iain
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‘The Naked Bird Watcher’ ISBN 0954809203 is available from book shops, internet book sites or from The Cairn www.thecairn.com price £12 (includes packaging and postage)
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